Pouring Out Part 3: Inadequate

     I've been working on my next two posts for Pouring Out. One is just a simple "why am I writing this" and the other is about when you feel completely upended and empty, and the woman at the well whom Christ spoke to. As I've been writing them though, it's come to my attention that I am very inadequate to write this series. I, myself, am an unfinished work. I am incapable.

     My life is written, but I don't know the story. I'm only allowed to read one word, live one moment, at a time. It's come very much to my attention that I don't know. I don't know what's ahead. I don't know what the next season is. I don't know how everything I'm doing now is feeding into the future. I don't know five MINUTES, let alone five YEARS down the road. I don't know, but God does. Nearly my entire being clings to the worry of the future. Nearly. There is a tiny tiny pulling that says, "Let go. I want you. I want your burdens. They are not yours to carry." But, Lord, it's hard to let go. Trust. I have a hard time with that. I don't trust boundlessly like I know I should. I'm trying to though. I'm trying to focus on one step at a time. I'm trying to leave the rest at the altar. I didn't even realize how much unnecessary weight I was carrying around until someone told me.

     I'm also working on a New Years post about praying before you make resolutions and not worrying if they don't play out, as long as you continue to grow. Ha! I'm one to talk. But this year, at least for the first half of it, I know that my earthy goal is to throw myself into it and finish high school strong and to enjoy it. Everything thing else needs to go to the feet of God and stay there. That's the spiritual goal. To trust. To give up everything else and not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

     It's odd, as I write this, I just now noticed in the last few seconds that the song on the radio was Tomorrow by Unspoken. Listen to it here.

     So I'm going to try to keep growing, keep laying down the worry, keep surrendering the future. I am going to keep writing Pouring Out. There's so much I want to learn through it, but I wanted to be open with all of you. I don't, by any means, have it all together. I'm trying. I want to have it all figured out, but I'm trying not to worry about it. I know in the back of my mind, God's got it all. I want to live fully in the moment. That's where I'm meant to be. There's a Jim Elliot quote that says, "Wherever you are, be all there."

     So remember that in your moments of inadequacy, God is getting your attention. He is fully adequate. Always.

     Try reading these together.

Matthew 11:29-30 and Isaiah 40:31
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
“but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

     When we lean down to lay our burdens at the Lord's feet, He places wings upon our backs, and we are free.