You can't deny your responsibilities, but try to define what you've been told is yours to carry, and the weight you've placed on yourself. It's hard. I was there not too long ago, and my, I didn't think laying down things would feel that way. It's not as though I even felt weighed down all the time, I didn't constantly feel overwhelmed, and in truth, I didn't have all that much on my plate, but I'm able to see that now, after the fact. I didn't realize it because I had allowed all the little coping mechanisms to become everyday life. My focus, at this time in my life needs to be finishing school. I was avoiding working on it though, because when I was, I was subconsciously aware that the comparatively tiny assignment I was working on was a step toward the next big leap. It was moving closer to big decisions, life changing new chapters that were quickly approaching, the unknown was growing closer and in the back of my head, I knew sooner or later I would have to deal with it and prepare for it. Just reading that in your head's a mouthful, huh? The point being, I was taking on more than I should, and avoiding what I was meant to be doing. I have a tendency to keep my hands busy, and my mind preoccupied.
I never understood those who were just able to be constantly going and doing, I don't have that kind of energy. I didn't understand how people could be so externally busy and still have energy; meanwhile, I do half a day of errands and am tired the rest of the day. I'm beginning to see though, that it has to do with cognitive functions and operational settings. I live very much in my head, everything passes through my head, sometimes multiple times. I, typically, do not act, or speak, or externalize without mentally exploring it and analyzing it thoroughly. Thus, I expend a lot of my energy mentally, others are able to live and act in the moment and immediately expend energy outwardly. They process quickly and are able to assess situations and their place in them seemingly instantaneously. Something my mother mentioned the other day is that we are each given a certain amount of energy to complete what we are called to do. We cannot be envious of those with a different level of energy.
I was attempting to live in a manner which was daily slightly exceeding the level of energy and time I was given. I was taking on the weight of other people's problems out of love and a need to feel needed. I was attempting to fill a hole in myself which was not meant to be yet. I was beginning to play a role in someone's life which was not mine to fill. It was difficult to be told by others that I was investing too much. I didn't recognize how much of my life had started getting worked around someone else. I was unfocused, my priorities were off, and I was slowly becoming more tired emotionally.
One night it all piled up unexpectedly. I felt exhausted as I sat and cried, listening to someone tell me how much I was actually carrying, and how little I was truly meant to. The following weeks have been bumpy as I've tried to figure things out, what the right steps are and where I'm supposed to be. I know God is revealing little pieces to me, but it has been, and I know will continue to be, a process.
Laying things down is hard, setting things and people aside that have become part of you is hard. But if you pray fervently and reflect deeply and come to a part of your life that is pulling you down, don't allow yourself to remain in that situation. Turn the tables and reclaim that part of your life.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
Also, this link has some great verses about how the Lord help is carry our burdens.
http://www.amazingfacts.org/news-and-features/news/item/id/13787/t/are-your-burdens-heavy-10-bible-verses-to-lighten-the-load
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