Fear.
The word triggers an immediate response in the mind of virtually every person. We all have fear because we have all fallen and are not perfect in our trust. Pease, do not take that to mean fear is a sin. I don’t believe that; I know that fear is not a choice for many people. They don’t choose panic attacks or anxiety. But even though chemical imbalances or other uncontrollable factors take the form of fear sometimes, fear is also a protective response—a gift from God—something that gives us the energy to react to danger. To balance this, the Lord also gave us His peace. Both are things involved in our battle. We are not meant to live in fear of the world because we are not of it, and we cannot have all consuming peace until we reside in heaven.
Fear is not always out of fright. Fear can be in reverence, and that’s the kind the Lord loves most because it means we are humble before Him, recognizing His might. It means we have come to a place where we are not our primary concern anymore because we are overcome with the awe of Him.
When I wrote that first word, “fear” the other day the two paragraphs that followed were not my original intention, but I believe they were the Lord’s. I have struggled with fear sometimes and as I have grown it has taken different forms and I have reacted differently in various stages and circumstances, but one thing that has remained is that fear is a weak point for me, and now that I recognize it, I am able to see how the enemy is using it against me. Satan wants to destroy my passion, my confidence, my faith and my voice. He doesn’t want God to speak through me, he doesn’t want me to act Christlike.
I believe God has called me to write. For several years I have felt His hand upon my shoulder and a whisper in my ear that I am supposed to pursue a career in ministry writing. When I tell people that they typically ask me why or what I want to write. I don’t have the answers to those questions. God does. It has taken me quite a while to trust Him with them while not knowing, and it’s something I’m still working on. Trust—the contrasting light to the darkness of fear. As to the questions though, I have them about my present and future, but I want to be able to answer others with a message that conveys passion for what the Lord has pressed upon my heart, mind, and spirit.1 I have recently come to realize that even telling others what I want to do as a career is a ministry opportunity. It opens doors to conversations that can spark thoughts in others that might not have been otherwise. I want to stop being fearful of what others may think and use every opportunity to show others the work of God in my life and shed light on ways He can lead them too.
I started this blog over a year ago because I wanted to get my feet wet. I wanted to be able to have something “published” under my belt for future job possibilities. My family is rather quiet when it comes to internet presence, so it stared out as a private blog with 7 people who were able to view it. Some did, others didn’t, and that’s okay. Well, after a year I got tired of feeling as though I was only reaching 7 people who a) knew me personally, and thus my views and
b) are firm in their walk with the Lord. I wanted to reach farther, so I made my blog more accessible. A couple months went by and I mentioned to my sister my continued frustration that my posts weren’t being read. At that point she said something to me which really got me thinking. She pointed out that even when I told people about my blog and they were genuinely interested, I would use the privacy settings as an excuse or say I didn’t want it shared on social media. At the moment I thought it was to maintain a sense of privacy, but what she helped me realize is I was actually fostering my fear. The truth is, I’ve always been a little scared to share my writing with someone no matter how close I am to them. It’s like handing over part of my heart and saying “Hold it carefully, I’m trusting you, so don’t break this tiny piece of me.” So in essence, I was working against myself and purpose and didn’t even know it.
It’s not about followers. It’s not about views. It’s about pouring into people’s lives. Jesus had 12 followers, but He continually poured life, love, and wisdom into them, and eventually the Holy Spirit, but those 12 went fourth and grew others, teaching them the gospel message that Christ came for them, died and rose for them. They taught His power and purposes. Ultimately, they spread the love of God throughout the nations. I long to do the same.
Formal writing for classes has stressed me out. Again, it springs from fear that I won’t do the assignment correctly, or I will not accurately convey my thoughts, or whatever else. The stress has caused me to even question my calling the last few days. I began wondering, “If such a small assignment stresses me out this much, how will I make it through four years in a writing focused degree?!” That’s the enemy talking. No more! I am reclaiming my calling! Fear may continue to be my weak spot, but if I remain on guard against that attack, the enemy will be less likely to strike there because the fear will be actively being replaced by confidence. “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” Colossians 3:15 NIV
My number of earthly days are set. As I’ve been talking about in the Romans 8 notes: we are eternal spirits temporarily trapped in a state of mortality. I don’t know how long the Lord will allow me to be here to serve Him and His people upon the earth, but what I do know is that He is calling me to turn up the passion and live fully on fire for Him! Move over, Fear, Refining Fire is coming through! Let those who the Lord has called no longer be silent!
“For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)
and find out what pleases the Lord.
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.
But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.
This is why it is said: “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,
making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”
Ephesians 5:8-17 NIV
Rise and live fully for the Lord your God!
1 “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Colossians 4:6 NIV
No comments:
Post a Comment